I am here in suburbia, the zoo for all things wild.
I wonder if it will hurt, domestication?
Is this what my life is coming down too? Choosing colors for walls, fighting over finances, going to sleep with a mile between the sheets and your other half?
God, if this is your way of punishing me for the greater good, I don't understand.
A life where joy is sparse between regret, betrayal, despair, and depression?
I am not you God, I am your creation and there are some things that seem impossible. I was not created for suburbia, nor was it created for anyone.
Domestication takes the form of the deity, offering safety, conformity, mundane, existence. Life is too short for this, God.
I want a life, to live, not be. Waking up when I am forty to live cannot be my option.
I don't want a corvette, or an mid-life affair with a 20 year old...I want to be a living human being, creating by mandate from my creator.
Where does this leave me? Where am I? Moreover, who am I?
I am a child of the Creator, the Great Artist, who loves me. Thats about all I have...perhaps...that is all I need.
Anything else is fairly debatable in my existence.
God, I am here, wondering and wandering in the world of capitalism, consumerism, and religion, and know that I am nothing without you.
This is all dung, literally and figuratively anyway. It will all fall, it will all die, so what's the point? Why live?
Because not to do so would deny a gift given...Life. We can enjoy, sing, dance, hope, laugh, cry, even hate, because the gift God gave us. God gave it to us and so perhaps I feel guilty and must give it back in the form of my life? Is that what he wants? A life lived in guilty giving? I used to think so...Perhaps, thats why I went into ministry. It was my gift back to God. But I did it more out of obligation rather than joy. Rather than giving freely, I gave grudgingly.
No more. No more. I am going to live this gift out and enjoy what God gave me, paying my life forward, which is paying God forward, which is the whole message of the gospel. Yahweh adores you, Love calls you, Truth beseeches you, everything reconciled. Everything healthy, everything filled with a joy that burns deep.
Now I just have to figure out how to do it.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Monday, December 3, 2007
Prooftext me please.. (I beg to be loved)
I am a verse of holy writ
waiting to be planted in dirt and dung
growing where many do not dare
I take in the fumes and birth clean air.
I am not a round chambered
waiting in self-righteous anger
hoping to see where others fail
as the coming of my salvation
and their damnation to hell.
God doesn't like clean hands. If we are to change the world through the message of Christ we must become dirty.
To be against abortion is to adopt.
To be against sexual immorality is to hold the hands of those who have AIDS when they die.
To be against war is to love without question, without discrimination, without holding back.
To be against the tsunami of consumerism in our culture, is to take back our creative independence by doing things for ourselves. In our way.
We can is not good enough. We will is the fantasy of the lazy and procrastinator.
We are is the only way. Whether in grandiose public action or private decision, we are is the manifesto to which our generation must ascribe to. Otherwise we will become what we don't hope to be, we become what we think we can do, not what is impossible.
Men and women alike yearn for change, to be a part of a revolution. A revolution of ideas, against ideas, we long to have a reason to live. It used to be religion for me. Not anymore. God has a grander scheme than that. Humanity is God's creation and we are destroying it in the name of God. For many evangelicals it is abortion, homosexuality, and war. In some circles the first two have caused the third. They have points of goodness and sincere love, yet decided somewhere down the line that it is better to package it in hate.
It saves them the trouble of changing themselves.
Changing ourselves is the only way to embody the manifesto we are.
I leave you with this.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
-Mahatma Gandhi
waiting to be planted in dirt and dung
growing where many do not dare
I take in the fumes and birth clean air.
I am not a round chambered
waiting in self-righteous anger
hoping to see where others fail
as the coming of my salvation
and their damnation to hell.
God doesn't like clean hands. If we are to change the world through the message of Christ we must become dirty.
To be against abortion is to adopt.
To be against sexual immorality is to hold the hands of those who have AIDS when they die.
To be against war is to love without question, without discrimination, without holding back.
To be against the tsunami of consumerism in our culture, is to take back our creative independence by doing things for ourselves. In our way.
We can is not good enough. We will is the fantasy of the lazy and procrastinator.
We are is the only way. Whether in grandiose public action or private decision, we are is the manifesto to which our generation must ascribe to. Otherwise we will become what we don't hope to be, we become what we think we can do, not what is impossible.
Men and women alike yearn for change, to be a part of a revolution. A revolution of ideas, against ideas, we long to have a reason to live. It used to be religion for me. Not anymore. God has a grander scheme than that. Humanity is God's creation and we are destroying it in the name of God. For many evangelicals it is abortion, homosexuality, and war. In some circles the first two have caused the third. They have points of goodness and sincere love, yet decided somewhere down the line that it is better to package it in hate.
It saves them the trouble of changing themselves.
Changing ourselves is the only way to embody the manifesto we are.
I leave you with this.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
-Mahatma Gandhi
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