No One Fights Fair

I once heard that people change in prison, good people resort to violence in a system that dictates a tough guy persona be needed. I have never been to prison but have dreamed I was there. Yet, what seems to be a new aired-out version of the system is the democratic race unfolding throughout the country. Clinton, the veteran, has a lot of friends and a lot of enemies but is unchallenged because of seniority. Then we have Obama, fairly new to the grounds trying to win over the prison through positive change. Clinton feels presure and decides in shawshank fashion to "initiate" the new guy with a little political sodomizing and home-grown brutality. This would offend, embarass, and change anyone. Obama has done some negative ads concerning clinton, but of course he is in prison, is there a pure win in any democratic nomination?

Perhaps, then this is Clintons whole agenda, she knows that she will not win the presidency. McCain is much more powerful and the world may have been ready for a queen, but I don't believe that it is ready for a woman president. She will more than likely even if just nominated acquire threats that may be attempted by those who believe her to be incompetent and hold a grudge against the species of woman. Sad, but the fact of the matter is, if she is nominated she will divide and not conquer. McCain will win and we have four more years exactly like Bush, warmongering and little change within our own government.

Obama is the hopeful because he is different, if he has made a snide comment or a negative ad, it is merely because of being in the race with the establishment. He has kept his head high amidst so much slandering, I applaud him for bearing the burden of accusations.
Too easy have we been swayed by media, even such as these words awaken emotion. Where is the stirring of morality and the common good of humanity. We are a global nation, a global world. If we cannot surpass our own egotism to see the greater good, we have become nothing more than narcisstic fools. I have never been this hopeful, nor deeply ashamed and saddened by our country as I have been these last few years.
Obama can restore the disengaged, and disingenious of us, who if we had the resources would move to Canada or even Mexico, because America is becoming a disgrace, the freedom, the liberty is waning and the time of a world change is near. If we do not do the good we supposedly see, the individuals will. Nations are becoming ineffective as individuals take actions. Sadly, though more may become done, there will be much more sorrow because a hierarchy will be lost and everything will become permissable, because no one cares about permission anyway.

Back to the metaphor of prison, in the movie Shawshank Redemption the lead character Andy is abused, blackmailed, and eventually vindicated by his own character and wittiness. I believe Obama can embody and even surpass this allusion. I hope him to be the next president, not for what he has done, but perhaps for what he will do. He may buckle, he may crack, but he has a fire to change, he is the spark, the catalyst. Clinton may change what the presidency looks like, but Obama can change what the presidency stands for.

To die like christ is gain?

Columbine happens everyday. It just doesn't take place in a library. The girl who died for Christ is a martyr for her faith. I just wonder sometimes, is that what Christ really wanted? Her death inspire millions I have no doubt, but what I do ponder is could she have been more?

I had a daydream recently where all the red-headed students were lined up in front of the auditorium and a gunman went down the line asking the proverbial question: Would you die for Christ? A few proudly with a tear in their eye said, yes. They died. Quite a few more said no. They left the stage quietly. My turn came and I said no. Not out of fear of death but the idea of dying for someone who died for me is stupid. I said I wouldn't die for Christ, hell, he didn't even die for himself. He died for others. I took my choice and said I would take the place of the next person down the row. I would die for them. Not Christ?

Is this blasphemy?

I would suffer for the cause but death for one who has given life to all, who already died, is absurd...to me. I admire those who defiantly chose to give their gift back to the one who gave it. Perhaps that is their strength and my weakness.
Their worth of life came through death. Sadly today they are crucified with Christ again. This time the cross is consumerism.

Jesus is a bobble-head, Paul is candle, Francis is a bird bath, and rachel is a bracelet.

True these things can inspire and foster a spirituality but I think is mostly to fufill personal salvation.

I am here in suburbia, the zoo for all things wild.

I wonder if it will hurt, domestication?

Is this what my life is coming down too? Choosing colors for walls, fighting over finances, going to sleep with a mile between the sheets and your other half?

God, if this is your way of punishing me for the greater good, I don't understand.

A life where joy is sparse between regret, betrayal, despair, and depression?

I am not you God, I am your creation and there are some things that seem impossible. I was not created for suburbia, nor was it created for anyone.

Domestication takes the form of the deity, offering safety, conformity, mundane, existence. Life is too short for this, God.

I want a life, to live, not be. Waking up when I am forty to live cannot be my option.

I don't want a corvette, or an mid-life affair with a 20 year old...I want to be a living human being, creating by mandate from my creator.

Where does this leave me? Where am I? Moreover, who am I?

I am a child of the Creator, the Great Artist, who loves me. Thats about all I have...perhaps...that is all I need.

Anything else is fairly debatable in my existence.

God, I am here, wondering and wandering in the world of capitalism, consumerism, and religion, and know that I am nothing without you.

This is all dung, literally and figuratively anyway. It will all fall, it will all die, so what's the point? Why live?

Because not to do so would deny a gift given...Life. We can enjoy, sing, dance, hope, laugh, cry, even hate, because the gift God gave us. God gave it to us and so perhaps I feel guilty and must give it back in the form of my life? Is that what he wants? A life lived in guilty giving? I used to think so...Perhaps, thats why I went into ministry. It was my gift back to God. But I did it more out of obligation rather than joy. Rather than giving freely, I gave grudgingly.

No more. No more. I am going to live this gift out and enjoy what God gave me, paying my life forward, which is paying God forward, which is the whole message of the gospel. Yahweh adores you, Love calls you, Truth beseeches you, everything reconciled. Everything healthy, everything filled with a joy that burns deep.

Now I just have to figure out how to do it.

Prooftext me please.. (I beg to be loved)

I am a verse of holy writ
waiting to be planted in dirt and dung
growing where many do not dare
I take in the fumes and birth clean air.

I am not a round chambered
waiting in self-righteous anger
hoping to see where others fail
as the coming of my salvation
and their damnation to hell.


God doesn't like clean hands. If we are to change the world through the message of Christ we must become dirty.

To be against abortion is to adopt.

To be against sexual immorality is to hold the hands of those who have AIDS when they die.

To be against war is to love without question, without discrimination, without holding back.

To be against the tsunami of consumerism in our culture, is to take back our creative independence by doing things for ourselves. In our way.

We can is not good enough. We will is the fantasy of the lazy and procrastinator.

We are is the only way. Whether in grandiose public action or private decision, we are is the manifesto to which our generation must ascribe to. Otherwise we will become what we don't hope to be, we become what we think we can do, not what is impossible.

Men and women alike yearn for change, to be a part of a revolution. A revolution of ideas, against ideas, we long to have a reason to live. It used to be religion for me. Not anymore. God has a grander scheme than that. Humanity is God's creation and we are destroying it in the name of God. For many evangelicals it is abortion, homosexuality, and war. In some circles the first two have caused the third. They have points of goodness and sincere love, yet decided somewhere down the line that it is better to package it in hate.

It saves them the trouble of changing themselves.

Changing ourselves is the only way to embody the manifesto we are.

I leave you with this.

Be the change you want to see in the world.
-Mahatma Gandhi